OK I have not written as I expected I wanted to. Still fearful of this and putting myself 'out there' for others to read. During these past weeks I read of the death of a blogger in Libya. this 20 something was the voice of the streets for the resistance according to NPR. He was shot while getting a story for his site. Dying for what he believed. Sitting down in the comfort of my living room and gazing out on my quiet suburban street is not that kind of war. I guess we all fight our own battles. I went to a parish mission Monday evening and the line of the opening song resonated with me.." Do not fear, words I have trouble embracing, for fear is the path of my making" from I Will Go by David Kauffman.
There are many other Lenten resolution I have kept.
I have not read any fiction. I met with a book group on Tuesday and they were fascinated by my sacrifice. Someone at work recommended a book and when I said, "It sounds good but get back to me after Easter." she said, " Oh, that's right! You are giving up fiction for Lent!" She is Latter Day Saints, or was at least raised in that faith. the non Catholics are intrigued by the idea of sacrifice. Well, I must admit giving up fiction has been more of a conversation point than a sacrifice for me.Maybe this is the evangelization opportunity I have been praying for! I have a stack of really good NF books waiting for me. Read half of Mistaken Identity last night about the Taylor University van/truck crash and the families of the two girls whose identities were mixed up at the accident.
I am not shopping on Wednesday's and Friday's. That has been a problem, I must admit. I do not think when I head out and this has caused me to think ahead and to wait until later.
I am saying my Resentment Prayer faithfully everyday and things are changing in my head about these four people. I brought one something that I would never have considered doing earlier. I smiled and laughed with another and spent time with another doing nothing, and this would not have happened in my walled up phase. I have questioned another about a difficult situation and we found common ground and laughter. I like it this way much better than holding on to my hard feelings.
My basement? I have quite a few shelves cleaned and boxes to be brought up to the car for delivery elsewhere. I have not worked everyday, but more than I have here at the blog. It is always good to take stock of where you have been . If I don't look back I may not see what road I am walking and where I am heading.
Lent is halfway over. I still have 20 more days to claim change.
Blessings,
Nancy
This was fun.:) I have a list of topics I wanted to write about this past few weeks. I'll be back....
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
'Resentment Prayer'
As a Third Order Carmelite I am called to pray Evening Prayer. sometimes I will say it with Magnificat, sometimes with Universalis online, sometimes with my book of Christian Prayer and sometimes I will forget. Last night I opened my book of Christian Prayer and Psalm 20 in Week 1 exactly reflects my prayer for those people I am praying for this Lenten Season: 'May the Lord answer in time of trial; may the name of Jacob's God protect you. ...May he give you your heart's desire and fulfill everyone of your plans. May we ring out our joy at your victory...May the Lord grant all your prayers.' Glad I didn't need to reinvent the wheel. Wonder why I thought I had to?
Last night the cable news channel discussion was whether or not to contribute to the people of Japan in their disaster situation. The nay sayers were arguing that 1)the monies donated to Haiti hardly arrived and therefore keep your money in your pocket, and also 2)that Japan is a First World country and rich and has enough resources to take care of its own.3)And also did anyone donate money to the US in our problems with Katrina?
In response: Do the people of Japan need assistance? Well, duh! Therefore donate to an organization that has a proven track record of reputable assistance. The research into your charitable contribution resource is our responsibility. I searched the UCCB website and communication from Japan is poor and the assessment of needs best served is not yet complete. I hardly believe that the US Catholics will ignore the situation. Patience. Ameans of donation through the Catholic charities will be available.
The entire country is in trouble because of power outages and economic repercussions.IIt will take years to clean up and to reestablish export supply lines. Agriculture is surely affected, even in subsistence farming and gardens. Perhaps the Japanese government is more efficient than ours, or perhaps it is just as efficient. Don't you think there are people who need our help? I do not doubrt that Japan's resources will be strained. I believe their people need our help.
I read of a community in the East, I believe it was in India, who gathered their pennies and sent Katrina refugees something like $600; many times what their village could earn in a year. It is hard for me to believe they are the only ones who ignored our plight in our time of need. Even if no one outside of the United States donated to help, what excuse is that to keep our hands in our pockets. We are called to help the hungry, the naked, the homeless, to help bury the dead and comfort those who are in sorrow. To do nothing is not to choose the way of Christ.
Last night the cable news channel discussion was whether or not to contribute to the people of Japan in their disaster situation. The nay sayers were arguing that 1)the monies donated to Haiti hardly arrived and therefore keep your money in your pocket, and also 2)that Japan is a First World country and rich and has enough resources to take care of its own.3)And also did anyone donate money to the US in our problems with Katrina?
In response: Do the people of Japan need assistance? Well, duh! Therefore donate to an organization that has a proven track record of reputable assistance. The research into your charitable contribution resource is our responsibility. I searched the UCCB website and communication from Japan is poor and the assessment of needs best served is not yet complete. I hardly believe that the US Catholics will ignore the situation. Patience. Ameans of donation through the Catholic charities will be available.
The entire country is in trouble because of power outages and economic repercussions.IIt will take years to clean up and to reestablish export supply lines. Agriculture is surely affected, even in subsistence farming and gardens. Perhaps the Japanese government is more efficient than ours, or perhaps it is just as efficient. Don't you think there are people who need our help? I do not doubrt that Japan's resources will be strained. I believe their people need our help.
I read of a community in the East, I believe it was in India, who gathered their pennies and sent Katrina refugees something like $600; many times what their village could earn in a year. It is hard for me to believe they are the only ones who ignored our plight in our time of need. Even if no one outside of the United States donated to help, what excuse is that to keep our hands in our pockets. We are called to help the hungry, the naked, the homeless, to help bury the dead and comfort those who are in sorrow. To do nothing is not to choose the way of Christ.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Lent on the Weekend
I met someone at my Carmelite meeting this weekend who is in battle with the devil. I believe the devil is real.I believe her battles with the evil one are real. She seems to be praying every prayer under the sun and fasting and still she is at war. I do not pretend to understand why this is happening to her. By reaching out to the Carmelite community she is asking for and hopefully accepting our prayers. We are praying rosaries for her. When I wake in the night I think of her and her battle and I pray Mary and Michael be at her side. I pray the Holy Name of Jesus. I do not know what else to do. The guys in our group want to 'fix it.' So do I. How do you 'fix' someone of faith in a war like this? I think we will reassess our actions next month and see if what we are doing is enough; or if we feel our actions should be different. Perhaps take a page out of Ignatius of Loyola. We were discussing this Sunday's Gospel and the temptations of Jesus in the desert before she shared with us. In Lectio two of us were struck by the angels ministering to Jesus after the devil moved on til another day. Perhaps we are her angels
At Sunday's celebration of Holy Mass the Catechumens spent time with their sponsors at the front of the church in declaring their wish to join the faith and their readiness to attempt the final instructions. They signed their names in a large book that was visually shared with the congregation. Our choir, 40 some voices strong, sang a spiritual, Sign Me Up. The only woman in our choir who has the voice to carry this song sang the lead. It is not often we hear spirituals in our northern Indiana church. There were smiles on lots of faces and toes were tapping. That is pretty enthusiastic for us. There was no hand clapping, swaying or shouts of hallelujah, but oh, it was grand! I have only seen gospel singing in the movies, you know, like Forest Gump. Someday I am going to attend such a service. I hope I am brave enough to shout and clap and sing along.
I finished Fr. Calloway's book: No Turning Back, a Witness to Mercy.
At Sunday's celebration of Holy Mass the Catechumens spent time with their sponsors at the front of the church in declaring their wish to join the faith and their readiness to attempt the final instructions. They signed their names in a large book that was visually shared with the congregation. Our choir, 40 some voices strong, sang a spiritual, Sign Me Up. The only woman in our choir who has the voice to carry this song sang the lead. It is not often we hear spirituals in our northern Indiana church. There were smiles on lots of faces and toes were tapping. That is pretty enthusiastic for us. There was no hand clapping, swaying or shouts of hallelujah, but oh, it was grand! I have only seen gospel singing in the movies, you know, like Forest Gump. Someday I am going to attend such a service. I hope I am brave enough to shout and clap and sing along.
I finished Fr. Calloway's book: No Turning Back, a Witness to Mercy.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Fasting
As I was doing my Morning Prayer and the Daily Readings for Lectio I realized I was avoiding the word 'fast.' I counted, and 'fast' or 'fasting' was mention eighteen times between my two readings. Not something to ignore, I guess.
As Catholic, I am often encouraged to fast and pray as Jesus says it requires both to battle great situations successfully. In two separate books this week I read of striving to be dead to sin, and with fasting not to feel impoverished, but enriched. Several years ago I faced a health issue. In order for the medication to work effectively I had to give up certain things. It was hard at first. I wanted to be able to keep the same lifestyle and change the outcome. Impossible. Once I learned how to let go of what I thought I could have at any time, it no longer beckoned to me. I now can walk past it without temptation. I can watch others ingest and know I don't have to be bothered with the mistaken feeling that I had to have it. My life is enriched. I am no longer impoverished by a shortage mentality.I have let it go and all the baggage that attends it. I am free to enjoy much healthier and tasty things.
Fasting for spiritual purposes serves the same end. If I offer up my craving for sweets and for the party atmosphere that attends it, I also offer up the sugar high that makes me cranky, the guilt of eating something I don't 'need', the uncomfortable memory of childhood, and the work of losing the weight gain which is far harder than opening mouth and inserting calories. In return I believe that my sacrifice is united with the sacrifice of all the others giving up something for the good. And I believe when I get to the 'otherside' I will know who I helped and how my sacrifices affected the future of the world. I believe it will be a good thing. Both my DH and a coworker heard an irreverent slam on fasting on one of our local stations on Wednesday. Our discussion of the radio program's suggested topics for fasting included wondering how a radio station could get away with such 'entertainment.' Would making fun of Ramadan or Kwanzaa be tolerated? Then why would making fun of a Catholic tradition? I wondered if anyone who had heard this sound bite had commented. I couldn't find anything about that show on their radio web site; I admit I became distracted by the news of the earthquake in Japan and the resulting tsunami and destruction. I shall fast and pray for the people have lost so much.
As Catholic, I am often encouraged to fast and pray as Jesus says it requires both to battle great situations successfully. In two separate books this week I read of striving to be dead to sin, and with fasting not to feel impoverished, but enriched. Several years ago I faced a health issue. In order for the medication to work effectively I had to give up certain things. It was hard at first. I wanted to be able to keep the same lifestyle and change the outcome. Impossible. Once I learned how to let go of what I thought I could have at any time, it no longer beckoned to me. I now can walk past it without temptation. I can watch others ingest and know I don't have to be bothered with the mistaken feeling that I had to have it. My life is enriched. I am no longer impoverished by a shortage mentality.I have let it go and all the baggage that attends it. I am free to enjoy much healthier and tasty things.
Fasting for spiritual purposes serves the same end. If I offer up my craving for sweets and for the party atmosphere that attends it, I also offer up the sugar high that makes me cranky, the guilt of eating something I don't 'need', the uncomfortable memory of childhood, and the work of losing the weight gain which is far harder than opening mouth and inserting calories. In return I believe that my sacrifice is united with the sacrifice of all the others giving up something for the good. And I believe when I get to the 'otherside' I will know who I helped and how my sacrifices affected the future of the world. I believe it will be a good thing. Both my DH and a coworker heard an irreverent slam on fasting on one of our local stations on Wednesday. Our discussion of the radio program's suggested topics for fasting included wondering how a radio station could get away with such 'entertainment.' Would making fun of Ramadan or Kwanzaa be tolerated? Then why would making fun of a Catholic tradition? I wondered if anyone who had heard this sound bite had commented. I couldn't find anything about that show on their radio web site; I admit I became distracted by the news of the earthquake in Japan and the resulting tsunami and destruction. I shall fast and pray for the people have lost so much.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Sensory Experiences of Lent
Sound: the minor key of the songs used at Holy Mass
Taste: the hot tea I used to quench my appetite on a day of fasting and abstinence.
Sight: the ashes visible on the foreheads of those in attendance at Mass. I did not see anyone else with them throughout the earlier part of the day.
Sound again: Discussing in public, at work, where to attend Mass during Spring Break Week on campus when Catholic services are not scheduled.
Smell: Baked beans for dinner cooking on the stovetop.
Taste: the hot tea I used to quench my appetite on a day of fasting and abstinence.
Sight: the ashes visible on the foreheads of those in attendance at Mass. I did not see anyone else with them throughout the earlier part of the day.
Sound again: Discussing in public, at work, where to attend Mass during Spring Break Week on campus when Catholic services are not scheduled.
Smell: Baked beans for dinner cooking on the stovetop.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Ash Wednesday
The time to respond is now. It is a very acceptable time. Call an assembly and gather the people.
Our Parish is the largest in our diocese and the 7 p.m. Mass was packed. I am guessing about 900 people were there to celebrate Holy Mass and to receive ashes. Of course Monsignor talked about prayer, fasting and almsgiving. I reflected on the first day of lent and my planned activities.
I typed up a little Resentment Prayer to say each day for my least favorite people. and I said it for them.I did not feel self-righteous or holier than thou or even all that good about it. Rather I felt guilty that I even had three people on a list like this!I guess that is why we are asked to pray in secret. God knows my feelings for these people. I believe He put praying for them in my heart, too. I shall secretly ask them at the end of April if any of their dreams came true. (and no, I am not talking nightmares)
Remember, I decided to give up fiction for Lent. This morning my husband handed me a library book he had picked up for me.. When I reserved Crooked Letter, Crooked Letter I was number 36 on the wait list. I am taking it back unopened tomorrow. It will be something for me to look forward to in May.
A meeting member gave me her copy of Fr. Calloway's autobiography, No Turning Back. I read two chapters without even thinking about time. I also have Unbroken waiting for me, as well as Rick Steves Travel as a Political Act ,and two books came in today's mail...Journey in a holy Land by Pennington and Making a Heart for God, a Week inside a Catholic Monastery by Dianne Aprile. Perhaps giving up fiction will not be such a sacrifice...I did not have any soda today. I wasn't tempted.
I put the 40 Days for Life yard sign up. I hope others are participating; if not, I guess I am a reminder.
Because it is Wednesday I had also planned to refrain from shopping. I stopped at Walgreen's and printed a couple of photos and bought Vegetable soup for lunch and didn't even think about my 'fasting ' plan for the day. I asked Our Lady's pardon, but still, I didn't even think twice. Thou shalt think twice before acting must be the eleventh commandment, the one that got broken on the way down the mountain. It is not yet engraved upon my heart.
I did just walk up from the basement. I put in 15 minutes packing up boxes of things I purchased as gifts for others. I found the felt on the pool table under them and put the boxes up in my clothes closet out of the way of prying eyes. My hairdresser told me about the Christmas shoebox collection starting up again. There are many things in those gift boxes that I can bring to her.
Day 1 of Lent: 4 for 5. The time to respond is now. It is a very acceptable time.
Blessings to you in your Lenten journey.
Nancy
Our Parish is the largest in our diocese and the 7 p.m. Mass was packed. I am guessing about 900 people were there to celebrate Holy Mass and to receive ashes. Of course Monsignor talked about prayer, fasting and almsgiving. I reflected on the first day of lent and my planned activities.
I typed up a little Resentment Prayer to say each day for my least favorite people. and I said it for them.I did not feel self-righteous or holier than thou or even all that good about it. Rather I felt guilty that I even had three people on a list like this!I guess that is why we are asked to pray in secret. God knows my feelings for these people. I believe He put praying for them in my heart, too. I shall secretly ask them at the end of April if any of their dreams came true. (and no, I am not talking nightmares)
Remember, I decided to give up fiction for Lent. This morning my husband handed me a library book he had picked up for me.. When I reserved Crooked Letter, Crooked Letter I was number 36 on the wait list. I am taking it back unopened tomorrow. It will be something for me to look forward to in May.
A meeting member gave me her copy of Fr. Calloway's autobiography, No Turning Back. I read two chapters without even thinking about time. I also have Unbroken waiting for me, as well as Rick Steves Travel as a Political Act ,and two books came in today's mail...Journey in a holy Land by Pennington and Making a Heart for God, a Week inside a Catholic Monastery by Dianne Aprile. Perhaps giving up fiction will not be such a sacrifice...I did not have any soda today. I wasn't tempted.
I put the 40 Days for Life yard sign up. I hope others are participating; if not, I guess I am a reminder.
Because it is Wednesday I had also planned to refrain from shopping. I stopped at Walgreen's and printed a couple of photos and bought Vegetable soup for lunch and didn't even think about my 'fasting ' plan for the day. I asked Our Lady's pardon, but still, I didn't even think twice. Thou shalt think twice before acting must be the eleventh commandment, the one that got broken on the way down the mountain. It is not yet engraved upon my heart.
I did just walk up from the basement. I put in 15 minutes packing up boxes of things I purchased as gifts for others. I found the felt on the pool table under them and put the boxes up in my clothes closet out of the way of prying eyes. My hairdresser told me about the Christmas shoebox collection starting up again. There are many things in those gift boxes that I can bring to her.
Day 1 of Lent: 4 for 5. The time to respond is now. It is a very acceptable time.
Blessings to you in your Lenten journey.
Nancy
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Trekking Into Lent
Blogging is new to me and the the structure and sacrificial aspect of Lent have prompted me to get started on my idea of comments and observation of trekking Catholic in today's world. I am a cradle Catholic, but as anyone who has lived for years belonging to any religion, voting group, or book club or practiced an artistic medium knows, life happens, viewpoints change. Faith becomes deeper, or fades. Catholicism is important to me. It defines me, I though that this Lent 2011 I would reflect a bit upon how that difference expresses itself in my actions, or reticence, my outlook and perhaps my feeling at home (or not) in the world. I am nervous about laying myself 'out there.' I am not a fan of the guest situations on talk shows, nor the sound bite of fame that seems to be natural to this generation. But I sense a need to speak up for and live my faith, to be accountable, and my hope is that blogging here each day of Lent will help me to discover that deep within myself. Be patient with me as I learn the process. I have fun using my digital camera and I hope to have many pictures to share. Illustrated books were always my favorites as a child. I may need to think and feel like one here to get to the proper place.
In addition to this project I am attempting a few other things for these next 40 Days. I have participated in the 40 Days for Life campaign for several years. This year I am going to give up reading fiction and drinking soda. I read that diet soda contributes to Alzheimer disease. That is in my family and I need all the help I can get to avoid it. Losing my mind is a great fear. I pray I will keep my senses every day. I pray my prayers will be answered. I really like diet coke. I figure a 40 day sacrifice will be a good jump start, and a sacrifice for a purpose, an end to abortion, is a worthy cause.
I am also giving up fiction. I belong to several book groups. I love fiction. I read a lot of it. I also know that I read to escape my pain, my responsibilities and my thoughts. I have escaped to Australia and Armenia in Gilgamesh by Joan London this month. I just finished Ped Pettersen's Out Stealing Horses, a book set in Norway. And I just closed the cover on one of the Pink Carnation series, The Mischief of the Mistletoe , a story set in Jane Austen's world. My DH is planning on cutting off the cable contract. NHL is over. I know MLB is about to begin, but he is convinced getting the games over the net will be less expensive than with our cable company. It is true I also watch junk TV more often than I should. I am not giving up non-fiction. I just received Laura Hillebrand's Unbroken and want to continue to get to know the hero. We'll see how crazy I get without someone else's imaginary world.
Of course Lent also means prayer. I decided I am going to pray the Resentment Prayer, wishing all the good things of health and wealth and peace of mind for three people I do not like very well. I have heard it takes two weeks to really mean it. I shall see.
My positive action activity for Lent is to clean the basement. It has become a catch all for things that were stored there during the second story remodelling projects, my mother's stuff was piled up there as I could not face it after she died last July, and I have shelves and shelves of books that need to bless someone else. This cleaning the basement thing has been a "when the basement is cleaned, then I will have time to...(fill in the blank)". It is past time for me to get rid of that excuse. What are you doing for Lent?
Now this is out in the open. I have blogged for all the world to see what I am planning to do. We shall see how my plans commence and I shall tell you how God laughs. I just know that I am laughing now!
Blessings. Many blessings.
Nancy
In addition to this project I am attempting a few other things for these next 40 Days. I have participated in the 40 Days for Life campaign for several years. This year I am going to give up reading fiction and drinking soda. I read that diet soda contributes to Alzheimer disease. That is in my family and I need all the help I can get to avoid it. Losing my mind is a great fear. I pray I will keep my senses every day. I pray my prayers will be answered. I really like diet coke. I figure a 40 day sacrifice will be a good jump start, and a sacrifice for a purpose, an end to abortion, is a worthy cause.
I am also giving up fiction. I belong to several book groups. I love fiction. I read a lot of it. I also know that I read to escape my pain, my responsibilities and my thoughts. I have escaped to Australia and Armenia in Gilgamesh by Joan London this month. I just finished Ped Pettersen's Out Stealing Horses, a book set in Norway. And I just closed the cover on one of the Pink Carnation series, The Mischief of the Mistletoe , a story set in Jane Austen's world. My DH is planning on cutting off the cable contract. NHL is over. I know MLB is about to begin, but he is convinced getting the games over the net will be less expensive than with our cable company. It is true I also watch junk TV more often than I should. I am not giving up non-fiction. I just received Laura Hillebrand's Unbroken and want to continue to get to know the hero. We'll see how crazy I get without someone else's imaginary world.
Of course Lent also means prayer. I decided I am going to pray the Resentment Prayer, wishing all the good things of health and wealth and peace of mind for three people I do not like very well. I have heard it takes two weeks to really mean it. I shall see.
My positive action activity for Lent is to clean the basement. It has become a catch all for things that were stored there during the second story remodelling projects, my mother's stuff was piled up there as I could not face it after she died last July, and I have shelves and shelves of books that need to bless someone else. This cleaning the basement thing has been a "when the basement is cleaned, then I will have time to...(fill in the blank)". It is past time for me to get rid of that excuse. What are you doing for Lent?
Now this is out in the open. I have blogged for all the world to see what I am planning to do. We shall see how my plans commence and I shall tell you how God laughs. I just know that I am laughing now!
Blessings. Many blessings.
Nancy
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